The Neko Show! Episode 1:One Cloud is Bad Enough
by ladylita56
Summary: Well, let's see what a writer's mind can come up with at 1 o'clock in the morning! No romantic pairings and first time I attempt a funny fic on Fanfiction.net Enjoy!


Okay, here we go:  
Disclaimer: I have no connections with squaresoft and no legal documents  
providing me proof that I actually own any of the characters (even though I  
would want to..). Although this fic may be slightly slandering towards many  
of the final fantasy character's reputations (Sorry to say.) I assure you  
that none of them or their games were actually phyically harmed in the  
production of this fic. Please read with extreme caution and keep in mind  
this important factor: This is my first time at attempting funny.  
Enjoy^^  
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Neko: Hi, Hello! Welcome to the Final Fantasy show! I'm your host, neko,  
and we have a lot lined up for you folks!  
Cloud: Um, actually... Cid called and cancled..  
Neko: Excuse me? He was suppose to bring the band! What are we suppose to  
do now???  
Cloud: Well... We could go into squall's dressing room and see who lasts  
the longest in his pants-  
Neko: ...ANYWAYS.. Tonight our special guest is... Eiko Carol-  
Cloud: Um... She cancelled too..  
Neko: Well, who IS coming?!  
Cloud: I'm sure I can get someone here.  
Neko: ...you better, for your job's sake..  
Cloud: *gulp* Yes, ma'am..  
Neko: Alrighties. While we're waiting for out director to return, let's all  
give a warm welcome to Aeris Gainsborough!  
*Aeris walks in, all silent*  
Neko:... *ahem*..  
*all clap*  
Neko: Alright! Welcome to the show, Aeris! Tell me, how does it feel to be  
a role model for part of the Kingdom Hearts' plot?  
Aeris: *blushes* Well, I wouldn't say I'm a role model in the major part, I  
guess I was written in there to spice things up a bit.. you know, give  
reason for Cloud and Yuffie to be there-  
Neko: Alright, that's all nice and good. Now tell me, how did you feel when  
you found out that Mandy Moore was to be your voice actress?  
Aeris: Um, excuse me, I wasn't done awnserin-  
Cloud: *yells onstage* I found someone to guest star! You wouldn't believe-  
Aeris: *explodes* CLOUD! I WAS TALKING!!!!  
*silence*...  
Aeris: Alright. I wasn't done here anyways.. now, what were we talking  
about?  
Neko: Um... We were.. uh.. Oh yes! You were commenting on your reaction to  
apon knowing that Ms. Moore-  
Aeris: Oh, yes. Well, I was quite shocked, really.. You see, I would've  
expected someone like a spice girl or some quiet and unknown kansas woman  
to be my actress. I just don't see why I couldn't just talk for myself.  
Cloud: Um. are you ladies done yet?  
Aeris: No Cloud, now why don't you just go try on some of Tifa's clothes or  
something?  
Neko: WHAT?!  
Cloud: Hey! That only happened once- And it was YOUR idea!!!!  
*runs onstage*  
Aeris: MY plan? You would've gone all the way with the guy if Tifa and I  
hadn't shown up-  
Cloud: Oh, you're just jealous!  
Aeris: What would I be jealous of? I'm smarter and more prettier than  
you'll ever be!!!  
Cloud: *hmpf* Don didn't think that..  
*audience 'ooooooo'*  
Aeris: I'm.. I'm...  
*Mysterious deep voice*: In trouble.  
Neko: What do you know! Cloud actually pulled through! Our guest is here!  
Cloud:... um...  
Neko: You did, didn't you?  
Cloud:...  
Aeris: See! He's a Failure!  
Cloud: I am Not! I'm a good clone! A GOOD CLONE!!!!!  
Aeris: Failuuuuuuuuuuure~  
*Mystery man floats down from the lights- Threatening music plays*  
Cloud: I am NOT!! I'm telling Barret!!!  
*everyone stares*  
Neko: OMG.. Could it be..?  
Sephiroth: You two. *points to Aeris and Cloud*  
Aeris: What?! You were suppose to be on your break!!!  
Cloud: He gets a break?! I wanna break!!!  
*Neko slaps cloud*  
Sephiroth: Breaks over. Now lets go.  
Aeris: No! I don't wanna die again!  
Cloud: You wouldn't have to if HE'D just keep his sword out of camera shot!  
Sephiroth: Excuse me? It's not my fault that I am not only taller and  
stonger, but I have a certain advantage of having some things LONGER!  
*audience 'Ooooooooo'*  
Cloud: *face ignites a violent purple* You have nothing to prove that  
with.. you. you.. GENETIC DEFECT!!  
*everyone stares a sephiroth stares on unfazed*  
Aeris: Um.. Cloud. I don't think..  
Cloud: Aw, shaddup! *points at Sephiroth* You heard me right! Defect!!!  
Your father was a scientist and your mother was..was.um... A WOMAN!  
*audience stares*  
Sephiroth:...  
Neko: See? Cloud, you idiot! You can't hurt him with just words-  
Sephiroth: *begins to cry* I'm telling my Mommy!!!! Jenova!!! Did you hear  
what they called me?!?!?!  
*everyone watchs as Sephiroth runs off stage*  
Aeris:..  
Neko:...  
Cloud: You were saying?  
*chorus stops singing the threatening song in confusion*  
Aeris: Um. *looks at watch* Yeah, my breaks over.. bye all-  
Neko: *low growl* Not so fast.  
*aeris and cloud look at her curiously*  
Neko: How DARE you insult the great Sephiroth... he should be you're idol,  
cloud!!!  
Aeris: And what about me?  
*silence*  
Neko: You should respect him more, cloud...  
Cloud: *Hangs head in shame*  
Neko: Now, to recover from that massive blow to my ego, Cloud, let's see  
who you brought.  
Cloud: *sniffle*Okay.*sniffle*..  
Neko: So?  
Cloud: *wipes eyes* Right..*yells offstage* Yo, Vivi! Come on!  
Neko: You brought Vivi?! This is an adult show!!! 16 and up!  
Cloud: Not my problem.  
*Cloud and Aeris exit as Vivi walks in*  
Vivi: Um.. hello...  
Neko: Hi, Vivi^^ Come, sit down and talk to me for a bit.  
Vivi: Zidane says I'm not allowed to talk to strangers.  
Neko: Um. Alright folks! This may take a while! See you later on the next  
show!!  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Okay, that was weird. but that's what a sleep deprived mind at 1 o'clock in  
the morning will do to you.. If I get enough reviews, I may write the  
second episode: Rinoa and Seymour together at last?! ... Alright, that's a  
little too weird.. E-mail me or review if you want to give me any  
suggestions^^ 


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